Here is a friendship story which is somewhat similar to what happens mostly in our society. In real life, can a boy and a girl be best friends without getting falling in love? This is our question of discussion.
Let’s begin with four different assumptions:
Assumption 1: Boy and girl are best friends. They share, laugh, cry, abuse, eat and do everything possible together. Boy falls for the girl. For the girl, he is nothing more than a friend, and she makes it clear that “he loves him like a friend” but is not “in love” with him. Heartbroken boy tries to persuade her, and in the process, the girl is wooed. They are now in love with each other. They live happily ever after.
Assumption 2: Boy and girl are best friends. They share, laugh, cry, abuse, eat and do everything possible together. Over the course of time, girl falls in love with the boy. The boy does not want to do anything to jeopardize the friendship by getting into a relationship. The boy gives the girl time to recover. In the process, the friendship is ruined; they don’t talk to each other anymore.
Assumption 3: Boy and girl are best friends. Boy and girl spend quality time together. They are each other’s to-go-to person, cry buddy, shopping buddy. They are often teased for being “cute together,” but they don’t take it seriously. Eventually, they confess about their love for each other. They get together.
Assumption 4: Boy and girl are best friends. They do everything together. They are the old buddies. Even after so many fights, they find each other to seek comfort but never cross the line. Yes, there is a line. They are each other’s rant buddies. They love each other, but their romantic interests lie somewhere else. Friendship for them is close to the heart. And they live by that.
So coming back to the question: Can a girl and a boy be best friends without falling in love with each other?
In the first three assumptions, a girl and a boy has been shown fallen in love and then shown three different situations. We need to understand all these four types of cases that it's not necessary that people of opposite gender fall in love with each other like in situation 4. We think every girl and a boy will fall for one another with time in a friendship because of our rigid societal believes, in the past that a man and a woman cannot be related in any other way than romantically. The question of gender plays a crucial role.
The thought of falling in love with your old best friend is the basis of romance novels and even fairy tales. They make us think that this can happen in real also, but our life is not a fairytale. A best friend of the opposite gender really can be a best friend and nothing more.
I am a men and all my life I have been good friends with women more than I have with men. My best friend is a sweetheart I have known for six years now. We have never dated each other, we never “fell in love” with each other, she had his share of boyfriend, and I had a few girlfriends too. But we have been friends as far as I can remember.
The success of these friendships is dependent on how well both people communicate and respect one another. Healthy guy-girl friendships need to have barriers that girl-girl and guy-guy friendships do not cross. The comfort zone recognizes this barrier that neither friend in the friendship is allowed to violate.
So to conclude, men and women can be friends, as long as there is no lasting romantic interest. Remember, it doesn’t mean we’re meant to be lovers or soul mates if we talk to someone of the opposite gender about our pasts, presents, and futures. Deep love comes in different forms, including friendships.
In opposite-sex friendships, we want someone we can have a conversation with, and to feel a connection without worrying about catching feelings or awkward moments. For the sake of male-female platonic friendships, if we don’t let our sexual desire come in between us, it could be a beautiful thing.
Author: Malik Noureed Awan